Practice Grace
There are a number of definitions of the word “grace” — the one to which I refer here is this: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness or courtesy; the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful. I’m deliberately leaving the religious aspects of grace out of this post, because being graceful and showing grace to others DOES NOT require spiritual beliefs, or membership in a particular religion. Showing someone grace is showing them kindness, regardless whether you deem them worthy of such kindness… and in fact, it’s far more personally powerful to show grace to precisely those people whom you do NOT deem worthy of your kindness.
Grace is allowing someone else to step before you do… through a Stop sign, into a shopping line, and so on.
Grace is saying, “Maybe you’re right.” instead of pushing a simple disagreement into a full-fledged brawl — online or offline.
Grace is being polite and thoughtful, all the time, in every way. Saying “Please” and “Thank you” to everyone you encounter every day. Smiling at strangers. No, not the creepy “I have fourteen bodies in my basement, and room for one more!” smile. The gentle smile.
Grace means to “let it go” and respond to the harshness of others with your own politeness and sincerity. Sometimes people are going to be rude. Instead of responding harshly, keep a calm spirit. You’ll feel better.
Grace is practicing gratitude. We should all be more grateful every day.
Read
Anything! Everything! Read, read, read… Not only is reading good for your brain, it can help you to reduce stress, and it can improve your memory and concentration as well. I saw a trailer for a new series coming soon to Netflix, called “The Three Body Problem” and I bought the novel (really, the whole trilogy of which this is the first book). It’s quite good!! Feel free to leave your own reading suggestions in the comments section, but really — just READ every day. You’ll be amazed at how your vocabulary grows. Read whatever floats your boat, be it old Snoopy books or the latest columnists in your local newspaper (IKR?), or even other writers on Substack (gasp!).
Be Kind
I’m old enough to remember the phrase, “Please be kind - rewind.”
Be kind. Don’t think about it, don’t consider all the ramifications, don’t envision all the situations. Just be kind. As often as you can. You’ll find that, especially in the era of social media, it will require an act of will on your part. It’s worth it.
Be kind. Be kind to store clerks, to restaurant staff, to rideshare drivers, to random people whom you encounter every day. Kindness is free, and it is freeing. You’ll thank me later.
Forgive
People generally think of forgiveness as the flip side of contrition, the obligatory response to an apology. It is not. To forgive is to answer the call of our better angels and bear our wounds as the cost of doing business. It is that rarest of things, simple and pure... transcendent... and without strings. I know it can feel like there's nothing more soul-sucking than forgiveness, but sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and fall on your sword. Have grace, and move on.
And when someone asks you to forgive them, do so graciously, immediately, and without correction. For yourself. Whether they deserve it or not.
Create Something Tangible
I am the LEAST DIY-type person you’ll likely ever encounter. I don’t DIY, I pay someone else to do it. I don’t watch YouTube videos to learn how to fix the framazat, I pay someone else to do it for me. Trust me… it’s cheaper. I’m ham-handed at best, and clumsy on a good day. Know thyself.
That said, CREATE things — as often as you can. Print out your photos instead of simply storing and sharing them online. Make a scrapbook or buy a photo album.
Cook! Even the simplest of prepared dishes can be rewarding.
Write! Share your ideas, your dreams, the things for which you are grateful.
Engage in activities which result in something new being created, and you’ll feel the reward almost immediately.