Goodbye Letter

Learn from my mistakes

I’ve been married a few times (hey, no one’s perfect), and this was a goodbye letter I gave my ex-wife. It wasn’t the pronouncement of my leaving her and the marriage, as a typical “Dear John” letter might; we had discussed this, made plans, but I felt that even with the talks, and the counseling we attended, she never heard me. She probably didn’t care to expend the energy to listen to me. So I wrote this and gave it to her in a sealed envelope as I exited what had been our shared home.

I’m sharing this with you because: 1) It’s one of the best-written pieces I’ve ever done, regardless the morbidity of the reason for it; 2) There bound to be some nuggets which you, dear reader, can take away and apply to your own love life in some way — even as a negative example (i.e., to make sure you never treat your spouse this way!).

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For a long time, I wanted my wife back... or more accurately, I wanted back the woman with whom I fell in love. I don’t know who you are. It seems I am marginalized and relegated to the point of insignificance in your life. For you it seems there is always something more important than being my lover and my wife. This has been going on for a long time. I always hoped that ‘someday’ things would be different. Your priorities have been everywhere and nowhere: Your accounting work, your flower classes, your horse clinics... The list goes on and on. All of these are noble causes, but it leaves you with having nothing left over for me.